You're a Long Islander...

If you can identify with this list of Long Island truisms.

An email that has been circulating for some time now illustrates Long Island life beautifully by crystallizing the Long Island experience into humorous, bite size pieces.

Most long Islanders will find these funny if not just plain true.

Non-Long Islanders may see hints of their own locales but, unless they've spent some time here they won't get most of this.

Have a nugget you think belongs here? Send it to me using the form at the bottom of this page.

If it's a good one I'll put on top of the list and give you credit.

The list:

• When off Long Island you're puzzled that you can't find a gas station that sells beer at 2AM Good Friday.
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• You remember when all this was trees and "that development used to be a farm."
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• You know what Save the Oak Beach Inn bumper stickers are all about.
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• You understand the phrase going up-island.
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• You go to the beach right after school -- even in the dead of winter.
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• You live in the shadow of the greatest city in the world, but you almost never go there.
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• When you're away from Long Island, you love it and when you're home, you don't.
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• You think if you're not from Long Island or NYC, you're not really from New York.
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• You know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau simply on intuition.
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• You don't go to Manhattan, you go to "The City."
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• You never realize you have an accent till you leave.
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• Everything north of the Bronx is "upstate."
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• At some point in your life you've gone clamming.
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• Either your parents or your grandparents lived in the city.
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• You'd pay $11.50 for a movie.
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• You don't live in Long Island. You live ON Long Island.
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• You know where the Commack Motor Inn is (and the White Castle next door.)
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• Your distant future might involve the state of Florida.
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• You can correctly pronounce places like Ronkonkoma, Hauppauge, Wantagh, Mineola, Islandia, Massapequa, Patchogue.
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• You know the location of 6 malls and a dozen McDonalds and 36 7-11's.
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• You never, ever want to "change at Jamaica."
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• You've tried to find the Amityville Horror house.
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• No, you don't want mustard on that burger!!
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• You can't understand why a diner would ever close.
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• You've had a seagull poop on your car.
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• You have or someone you know has fallen asleep on the LIRR and ended up in one of these three places; Babylon, Port Washington or Hicksville. Or worse yet, Speonk. Can you pronounce that?
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• You went to an elementary school that promoted dodge ball as the number 1 game among children 7-13.
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• You know White Castle is terrible for you and it gives you a stomach ache, but you periodically "Get the Crave."
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• You want the Yankees to stay in the Bronx, but would probably go to more games if they moved to Manhattan.
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• You think that somehow, the Jets and Giants still play in New York.
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• You've missed that "Drunk Train," the 2:42 out of Penn, and had the dreaded wait until 5:30.
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• You or someone you know has owned an animal that came from North Shore Animal League.
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• You've never taken an MTA bus.
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• The Long Island Expressway isn't really as bad as everybody thinks.
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• You don't associate Fire Island with gay men.
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• You know which parts of the Godfather were filmed on Long Island.
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• You've paid a $10 cover charge to get into a bar, but got nothing for it.
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• You miss whiffle ball and running through sprinklers.
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• Billy Joel said it best, "either you date a rich girl from the North Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore."
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• You don't really see the big deal about the Hamptons, unless you got smashed at the Bordy Barn.
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• When people ask "where are you from?" you answer Long-Guy-Land and automatically assume everyone in the world knows that answer means New York.
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• The Belt Parkway sucks!
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• You've been stuck in a traffic jam for more than 2 hours (without moving).
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• Your parents took you to All American, Nathans or Carvel (on the way home from the beach).
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• You don't have to go far to see your family.
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• You remember Grumman.
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• You know the color of the water at Jones Beach is not BLUE!
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• You were upset when all the Roy Rogers turned into Wendy's and Arby's closed for good.
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• You can spout off all the LIRR stops between Penn Station and Ronkonkoma.
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• Paying $35 for a haircut doesn't sound so crazy.
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• You think the people from Brooklyn are "da wunz dat tawk wit a accent."
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• You went sledding in the sumps.
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• You knew of Massapequa before the Amy Fisher-Joey Buttafuoco nightmare.
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• You think going to Queens is a hike.
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• The first time you heard the term "Long Island Iced Tea" you were somewhere else and you laughed.
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• When you live somewhere else and are astounded to see that people actually stop at yellow lights.
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• When you just sort of presume that wherever you live, you'll be able to find good delis, good pizza, and good bagels.
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• You can name at least three bands that came from Long Island.
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• No word ends in an ER, just an AH.

Okay, your turn.

You Know You're From Long Island...

Can you finish any of the following sentences?

You know you're from Long Island when...

A true Long Islander...

Go ahead and give it a shot!

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